shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
