You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
