For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
