i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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