Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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