In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
