we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
