And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
