If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
