The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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