Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my being single is dangerous.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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