She said her name was "party"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize