Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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