You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
