that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
