so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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