just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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