we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
