Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
