shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
