what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
