just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
