You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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