Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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