in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
