Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
