I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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