my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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