Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
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