I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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