don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
