it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
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I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
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