I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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