It's Friday. Sex?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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