Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
