You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
