1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
