i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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