then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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