You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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