That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
