all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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