Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
He kissed a someone with a penis
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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