May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize