; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize