so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
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I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
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Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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