oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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