We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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