And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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