were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
