if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
this is an emotional support booty call
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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