i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
i think my cat just said my name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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