I am puke
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
