I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
