It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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