Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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