Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
