....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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